Tom

When I was in the 6th form I had a girlfriend called Kate, she was in year 11. Kate wanted to go steady straight away. Within weeks, she started to get really moody when ever I wanted to spend any time with my mates. This caused loads of arguments. Kate tried to turn me against my mates saying they were idiots and calling them names, she also said that I didn’t need them any more as I had her now. Although I still wanted to hang around with my mates I mainly spent my time with Kate. I felt really uneasy saying anything to her as she would go mad, get really moody and slag off my friends. This used to make me feel really guilty. We had been going out for about 3 months when I decided to go to see a band playing with my mates, I had hardly spent any time with them and missed their company. Kate went really mad, screaming at me, calling me names and my friends, I felt really bad. A couple of weeks later, someone came to the school to talk to us about domestic abuse and I realised that this was happening to me. I finished with Kate that same week as I had realised that she was trying to control my life and who I saw. At the moment I am happy hanging out with my friends.

Chantelle

I had been going out with Jack for a while. We went around in a big group friends. We got on ok but Jack was always funny about me talking to other boys. This had caused rows in the past. A new boy, Dan, started at our school and became part of our group. I got on with Dan really well. Jack didn’t like me talking to Dan and was always having a go at me, shouting and being nasty. I felt really upset and it made me cry. Jack would say sorry and promise not to do it again, but then say it was my fault and he wouldn’t get angry if I didn’t let any boys talk to me. One day during break time at school, Jack saw me and Dan together, we were just talking. He called me over and started having a go at me. Jack grabbed me really hard and pushed me into the wall, I banged my head. Jack said it was all my fault. I felt really scared of Jack after that so I finished with him. I did go back out with him though and things were ok for a little while but gradually got worse. He started grabbing me a lot and I felt scared all the time. A couple of weeks later I finished with him for good. Jack has a new girlfriend now and I have seen him grab her too, so he hasn’t changed.

Rhian

My mum used to always be angry especially at my dad always shouting at him and putting him down calling him useless. He used to look so unhappy. One day I saw my mum hit my dad. I had never seen her do that before and it frightened me. Dad was crying and looked really ashamed. I felt really upset and went to bed crying. I told my friend what was happening at home. She told me to tell an adult that I trusted. My friend came with me and I spoke to a teacher in school who gave me information to pass onto my dad. I got dad to get advice and mum went for help too. Things are much better now.

Josh & Lucy

The aurguments and fighting would happen after we went to bed. We would hear shouting and screaming and crying. We always knew what was happening and we would lie in bed really scared. The next day mum would have puffy eyes from crying and would sometimes have bruises on her face. A couple of times she had black eyes and the last time she had her arm in plaster because her wrist was broken. When we asked her what had happened to her arm she said she had slipped over. We didn’t believe her as we had heard dad shouting and mum scream and then cry the night before. We didn’t know what to do. Mum wouldn’t talk about what was happening and we couldn’t talk to dad. We just kept quiet. One day I learnt about a helpline and rang them. They gave us advice and helped us speak to mum so she could get help. We don’t live with dad anymore, we are happy and we are no longer scared.

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